Trigger Queen Dethroned

It's not like I'm new to this game. I'm not some newbie who thinks that pregnancy occurs on the day of ovulation. I know it takes time for it all to come together. I also know that the trigger shot (HCG) takes time for it to leave your system before you can start testing for the real thing. There is no set time since your body will metabolize it differently each time it is injected.  

I have never been a functioning morning person, especially at 6 am, but when I'm staring at those little tests scrutinizing it to find that second little line, I like to think that regardless of the time, amount of sleep or coffee, I am a pro. I have somehow become the queen of testing out the trigger. I've taught others and am asked frequently on what you need to do to make sure it's gone. You would think that out of anybody I would be the last one to be fooled by the trigger.

This cycle, like any other cycle, I decided to start testing it out at 5 DPO (or 6 DPT - days past trigger). I did 5000 of Ovidrel which has a half-life of approx 24-28 hours. That means that the amount of HCG will be cut in half approximately every day. I know I'm not some crackhead and that on the first day of testing it out, the line wasn't there. It was stark white...no evaps,  no indent, no freakin' anything! Woo-hoo!!! Now I know that next time I  test, if I see a second line it's my long awaited BFP! I tested again at 6 DPO (7 DPT) just to make sure there wasn't a line lurking. Nothing again. 

Woke up the next morning at 7 DPO and my temp dropped drastically. Implantation dip? Hopefully! I know that your temps can fluctuate and that just because it dropped almost .5 doesn't mean that it was necessarily implantation. It's just that you can't help but imagine that's what it is and then the BFP wheel starts turning in your mind.  Woke up at 8 DPO and my temps jumped back up. Now I'm stoked and run right to bathroom. Rip open the pretty little Wondfo pack, pull out my pee cup from the cabinet and let 'er rip. I quick hop in the shower but keep getting out to check on my test. WTF?!?! There is a second line...it's faint, but it's there! At this point chaos ensues. Fly down two flights of stairs butt-ass naked trying to find my camera. Shit, where the hell is it? Purse, that's right. Everything is in the black hole that I lug around with me everyday. Found it! Take some pics of it as this is definitely tweak worthy.    Fly back up to the second floor (still naked) download the pics onto my laptop and then to Photobucket. Finally get dressed and ready for work and then hi, ho, hi, ho, it's off to work I go.

It was a good thing that I was the only person in the office all week as productivity was definitely going to be non-existent all day. My mind was racing. Could this be it? I get a tweaker to look at it. For those who don't know, tweakers can take pics of tests, play around with the coloring and tell you if there's a line there. Sometimes the lines are so faint, you can't tell if you're imaging it or if the line actually has color. There's nothing worse than thinking it's a line to only find out it's an indent (line with no color) or evap (line that appears after the test is dry). I get my tweak back and holy crap! I'm not losing my mind (for once).

I know, most of you will not see the line, but for us seasoned pros, we know damn well when a line is there. I get online to my girls on Babycenter and share my good news. I make sure I hold it for the rest of the day without drinking a lot so I can POAS as soon as I get home.  Fly home, POAS and the same faint line.  For some reason I decide to go dumpster diving through the bathroom trash to pull out the tests when I tested out the trigger just to make sure. Find them and now they are showing lines (insert many profanities here)! Again, I'm not a virgin at this and I know evaps can happen. I decided to wait until the AM and test again. Why the hell not? I have 25+ HPT's, might as well use them. 

The morning comes and I test again. Shit! The line is pretty much gone. I know I can see something but I know what that line is. Take a pic and off to the tweakers I go again. My fear is confirmed. Indent...fucker!  I immediately feel like the biggest ass for thinking that this was finally my time. How could I, the pseudo queen of testing out the trigger, have this happen to me?  Now I know at this point, I'm only 9 DPO and there is still plenty of time to get my BFP. I guess I always wanted to be one of those girls who finds out super early.  On the plus side, I know that the globby progesterone (P4) gel that I have to insert in to the vaginal abyss every night is working as my P4 is at 23.

Well, here I sit now, my favorite place on a Saturday morning; on my couch with a coffee, my computer and a snoring pug. The only thing missing is my BFP. I'm a glutton for punishment and tested again this morning at 10 DPO. What a freakin' surprise...nothing.   I know I still have time so I'm not out yet. I just need to stay strong.  While disappointment hurts, I know one day it will be my turn.