My genius idea of trying to go natural to reduce the stress is not quite working out the way I planned. Decided we would try the SMEP (Sperm Meets Egg Plan). Plan sounds simple enough, BD starting on CD8 and go EOD until you get a + OPK and BD for 3 days straight, skip a day and one more just to be sure. DH was on board (or so I thought) since it involved no medical intervention whatsoever. Well we decided to start on CD10 instead. Managed to get that in and then skipped a day to go again on CD13. Still no + OPK so we knew it wouldn't happen again until CD15. CD15 came, temps plummeted so I took an extra OPK to work to make sure I didn't miss my surge. Tested around noon yesterday and the line was definitely darker then it has been but still not as dark as the control line. Got home, POAS expecting to see it a full positive and surprise, the line was barely there. CRAP! I missed my surge. Well, throw the SMEP plan out the window. I knew we had to BD that night and quick. Told DH, he suddenly appeared apprehensive and said no. WHAT???? Mr. I don't want any medical help and let's try "natural" and now you're saying no? Let's just say I was not a happy camper. Finally, he regained his senses and we BD'd last night. Woke up this morning and my temps skyrocketed to a definitely post O temp. No reason to BD for 3 straight days now. I'll admit I did have a few drinks last night but I doubt that was enough to fool my temps and have them go up that high. Guess the wait begins...
On another note, I find it amazing that you can become so close to someone you barely know. The girls in my support groups are truly amazing. I feel like we've all grown so close together that it doesn't matter if I have never or will never meet them. We cheer each other on and provide support when others we know have no idea what we're going through. One of the girls I feel closest to was expecting to have her first ultrasound this week. We were all pulling for her & hoping for the best. Unfortunately, it did not end up the way any of us planned. Her new pregnancy ended up being ectopic. She posted it immediately after returning from her appointment. I read it and immediately started to cry at work. How could someone I never met make me this sad to know what she was going through? I have honestly been bothered by this for a couple of days now and just wish I could take a long road trip to give her a hug. My heart truly broke when I thought about what she is going through. It just goes to show that you don't have to ever meet someone to be their friend. As long as you share a common bond, you can always have a friendship. I just hope she knows that we're all here for her and just hope she takes the time to heal both emotionally and physically.
The title explains it all. Another failed cycle. My 2nd failed IUI and my fifth overall medicated cycle with a big fat FAIL. For the sanity of myself and probably my marriage, I decided to take a break and get me back. I've been so consumed with this whole process that I noticed how bitter I was becoming. I couldn't stand the sight of anyone with a bump. I couldn't watch a commercial on TV with a baby and not shed a tear. Hell, I couldn't even watch an athlete win a gold medal without bursting into tears. The crazy roller coaster ride of infertility was being to wreak havoc on me emotionally. I wanted a chance to let my body be medicine free. Free of the hormones, the hot flashes, the headaches, the tears, the bloating, everything! The truth is I will never be medicine free. I will always have to take my thyroid meds and I've come to terms with that, but no other pill, gel or suppository is entering any orifice of my body.
I honestly had to check Fertility Friend to even see what CD I'm on (CD5). I think even the evil bitch AF had sympathy for me this month. I swear it wasn't even like she was in town. Originally, DH was going to go away to Virginia to do a side-job for 2 weeks and we figured he wouldn't be around to donate his boys. Now it looks like he's going to be here anyway and I'm not one bit mad that we didn't stick to the program. He was totally OK when I told him I needed a break. He's not one to be very outspoken, especially when it comes to anything medical including my treatments, but I could even tell he knew I needed this for me (and for us). I haven't touched my BBT and not even sure if I plan to at all. Not having to wake up at the butt-crack of dawn on the weekends is sounding oh so good!
I'm still going to update and post but I'm not going to go crazy with my tracking. I know, ask me that again in a week when O time should be approaching. For now, I'm embracing the lack of stress and hoping that this time does us some good.
