Sanity Break

The title explains it all. Another failed cycle. My 2nd failed IUI and my fifth overall medicated cycle with a big fat FAIL. For the sanity of myself and probably my marriage, I decided to take a break and get me back. I've been so consumed with this whole process that I noticed how bitter I was becoming. I couldn't stand the sight of anyone with a bump. I couldn't watch a commercial on TV with a baby and not shed a tear. Hell, I couldn't even watch an athlete win a gold medal without bursting into tears. The crazy roller coaster ride of infertility was being to wreak havoc on me emotionally. I wanted a chance to let my body be medicine free. Free of the hormones, the hot flashes, the headaches, the tears, the bloating, everything! The truth is I will never be medicine free. I will always have to take my thyroid meds and I've come to terms with that, but no other pill, gel or suppository is entering any orifice of my body.

I honestly had to check Fertility Friend to even see what CD I'm on (CD5). I think even the evil bitch AF had sympathy for me this month. I swear it wasn't even like she was in town. Originally, DH was going to go away to Virginia to do a side-job for 2 weeks and we figured he wouldn't be around to donate his boys. Now it looks like he's going to be here anyway and I'm not one bit mad that we didn't stick to the program. He was totally OK when I told him I needed a break. He's not one to be very outspoken, especially when it comes to anything medical including my treatments, but I could even tell he knew I needed this for me (and for us). I haven't touched my BBT and not even sure if I plan to at all. Not having to wake up at the butt-crack of dawn on the weekends is sounding oh so good! 

I'm still going to update and post but I'm not going to go crazy with my tracking. I know, ask me that again in a week when O time should be approaching. For now, I'm embracing the lack of stress and hoping that this time does us some good.